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Help People Feel Good!

Updated: Apr 28

As I have previously said, I think the simplest value statement from performing arts is "helping people feel good". There are however, also so many ways we can do this in our regular life interactions. If you're a freelancer, a business person (as most performers are in some way or another), this might also lead to more work (people wanting to make use of your services). In general, if people like you, you are likely to connect with more opportunities in life. Ultimately though, it's just nice to help people feel good. Also, it is likely that by helping others feel good, you will feel good. So: this post is somewhat doubled in a YouTube video, but let's do the Coles Notes summary here. More in the video!

11 Ways to Help People Feel Good (categories)

  1. Affectionate Gestures and Body Language (1:16)

  2. Compliments, Praise and Thanks that are sincere (2:31)

  3. Help a Person Out whatever their goal. Especially if it's easy. (3:30)

  4. Be a Cheerleader (4:19)

  5. Give Attention (5:04)

  6. Give Energy (5:55)

  7. Give a Fun Shared Interaction (6:27) a) shared activity b) in converation (humour, banter... exciting topics)

  8. Empathise (7:58)

  9. Remember Things About People (10:27)

  10. Gifts or Tokens of Appreciation (13:25)

  11. Multi-Modal Communication blend communication types (17:09)


While I have recently found it interesting to think about these categories and techniques as "Social Rewards", a simpler version is famous from Dr Gary Chapman's book "The Five Love Languages". These love languages are:

1. Acts of Service

2. Receiving Gifts

3. Quality Time

4. Words of Affirmation

5. Physical Touch


I would argue that being aware of these is valuable to every interaction, not just romantic/relationship interactions. Can we try to love everyone a little bit? --- This post comes from a point of reflection on people-skill type things over a significant period of time. At one point I felt I was not as strong a "people person" as I might like to be. I realized it would not matter how strong I became as a musician if I was not good at interacting with people. So, while I was at a percussion conference at the University of Toronto (2007), I walked into the nearby Indigo book store and found the first book on people interactions I ever read. "How to Talk to Anyone" by Leil Lowndes.

Reading and playing with the ideas in this book helped me a lot. I have also now read many, many other books on similar topics since (and in more modern times, consumed a certain amount of video especially on YouTube, as people share in this way more now). -- I wish you all the best as you grow in your own people skills... and generally, your abilities to help people people feel good! I feel that growing in these ways helps to make the world a better place.

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